But does this very New York joke survive the five boroughs? In other words, is this funny if you don't live in NYC?
Judgmental Towers Apartment Complex, Application to Rent
Thank you for your interest in the Judgmental Towers apartment complex. Please fill out and submit this form, along with your application fee, a copy of a recent credit report, and a DNA sample.What is your full name?What is your current occupation?Is that what you dreamed of doing as a child?What went wrong?What is your current address?Why are you moving?What are you running from?How did you find out about this apartment? Was it from those newspaper articles, after that “incident”?Are you (circle one):∙ Single
∙ In Short-Term Relationship Outlasting Expectations Due to ConvenienceDo you own a waterbed?You do realize it’s not 1973, right?Have you ever been convicted of a felony?Have you ever walked out of a store with a pear, after forgetting to pay, and decided it was too much trouble to go back?And a week later, did the store go out of business?Does the guilt keep you up at night?Are you troubled by the brownish, man-shaped stain on the apartment’s floor?What is your gross yearly income?How much of that do you blow on greasy takeout food and bottom-shelf alcohol?Are you aware that if you’d saved five years of that you could own a house by now?Why are you willing to spend thousands of dollars per month on what is essentially a coffin-sized ghost slum?Do you think that the lingering aura of hipness from the artistic subculture that formerly resided in this neighborhood might somehow rub off on you?Despite the fact that everything is just a Walgreens now?Please list three references:Are you only now realizing that you don’t have any real friends, just casual work acquaintances?Are any of the people listed above a barista that you bribed to pretend to know you?Do you worry that if you don’t get your life together soon, you will wind up like that lonely brown floor stain?Applicant attests that the above statements are only slightly embellished, and waives all responsibility to management in the event of another “incident.”Signature: _____________________ Date: _____________________