Recently the telephone rang at the Reef
Sharque: This is Janet
Caller: Hello, this is Felix Buttonweazer. I'm calling because we've had some server issues recently and we can't tell if a query was sent to you or not. Normally we'd see the email in the outbox but we can't find it.
Sharque: Ok, I can help you with that. Do you have your credit card handy?
Caller: What? No. Why do I need a credit card?
Sharque: You want me to perform a job for you, right? You want me to stop what I'm doing and do something for you that will take time, right?
Caller: well, yes, I guess so but....
Sharque: Do you normally expect people to do jobs for you for free?
Caller: well, no, but
Sharque: Did you think you were calling the library perhaps? An institution supported by your tax dollars?
Sharque: did you think you were calling a retail establishment with a customer service question?
Caller: I guess.
Sharque: Are you a customer?
Sharque: exactly. Now let's talk about how you intend to pay for the transaction.
Caller: wait, what?
Sharque: you're a customer. Will that be cash or credit or check?
Caller: I'm hanging up now.
Sharque: Thank you for doing business with Sharques R Us. Have a nice day.
If the moral of this blogpost is not clear, let me spell it out: there is NO reason you will call a literary agency unless invited to do so if you are not a client. You will, in particular, not call ME. I maintain an active electronic presence and if you've got questions there are a myriad of way to get them answered, NONE of which involve you calling me on the phone and interrupting me.