Write What You Hate

The world is full of pronouncements for writers. I've made more than a few myself.

Bill Cameron articulates one that is worthy of the Top Ten list here with Write What You Hate

First day of the fall selling season

A group of my most slithery competitors sent around pictures of themselves getting back to work:

Quote of the Day:

I'm yammering away with Editor Amazing today, catching up on several projects we have in common.

The conversation turns to a Publishing BigWig.

Editor: "Some malcontent was trying to tell me some salacious piece of gossip about BigWig's nocturnal activities the other day, but frankly, who cares. He's just too nice a guy to care about crap like that."

Me: "He could have carnal knowledge of a goat in the public square and I wouldn't care. I adore him."

Editor: "As long as it's not my goat, me either."

Thinking of publishing yourself on Kindle?

I know a lot of writers are considering/doing the Kindle route these days.
I've got my eye peeled for news on that front.

Here's a good post about the pace of publishing on Kindle from Levi Asher at LitKicks.

Here's another post about self-publishing by Cory Doctorow. Particularly note the phrase: "I dramatically underestimated how much work this would be."

If you're interested in the history of publishing, read this

You don't need to be a die-hard fan of GONE WITH THE WIND by Margaret Mitchell to enjoy this book.  It's an amazing narrative of the publication history of the most popular book of the 20th century.  I was stunned to learn how much publishing has changed in the last 80 years (mostly for the better if you can believe that!)

This book is a compelling story about a compelling story.  I found it purely by serendipity, and as far as I can tell no one else has it in their libray at LibraryThing.  That means Not Enough People Have This Book!

You should!

Happy Labor Day!

High praise indeed!

"It isn't often that an "Acknowledgements" page makes me cry, so I was lucky that I stuck around and read this one, since I just wanted to keep reading this wonderful book."

from review of Q by Evan Mandery  

posted on HawthorneScarlet blog

The US cover is on the left, the UK export edition cover on the right

Buy the book here!

"Sounds like PANIC to me" Writing Contest winners...and a song!

In honor of all the entries in the contest, here's a song about homonyms!




As I've come to expect, all the entries were fun to read, and some of you really rose to amazing heights on this one! Thanks to all who entered. Here are the results:

I liked this phrase for its lean prose and good rhythm:
"Bottle and beast exchanged"
Angie 1:37pm

I loved the juxtaposition of roll and LOL here:"No doubt the Wright brothers are rolling in their graves… no lol'ing."
Beth Overmyer 10:28am

Any sentence with wail of literary pretension in it needs recognition:
"His unfinished book, he’d said, was a sough caught between the wail of literary pretension and the whale of historic butchery."
Aldous Mercer 1:47pm

This sentence says so much more than just the image it evokes:
"At 140, white lines on the Manitoba highway shrink to dots in the rearview mirror."
Rick Anderson 1:55pm


I think this is the trifecta of homonyms:
"Wright's sweating. He's failed his wizarding exam twice already. If he doesn't write the right rite this time, he'll be expelled."
yamx 11:11am

Shaggy Dog story? No, shaggy dog sentence! And oh my godiva, the puns:
Stephanie Evans 11:51am (except I sense the hand of her witty husband here)

Let me get back to you on this offer:
Regina Castillo 12:42pm

Coffee, nose, keyboard. Yes, these guys cracked me up:
Michael G-G 11:30am
Judy G 4:44pm
Catherine 9:02am


Special recognition for pulling at my (non-existent) heartstrings:
Andrea Wenger 5:54pm

Special recognition for classing up the place with some good poetry:
Paris 4:12am

Here are the seven entries that made the first cut:

Kate Outhwaite 12:49pm
Christwriter 1:38pm

Laura 2:23pm [although I'm not sure we agree on what waled means]
C. Swift 3:21pm

Writers Ottoman 3:45pm [although I'm not sure we agree on what wailed means]

David 10:32pm
gregkshipman 10:49pm



Here are the four entries that made the final round
(1) Realityanyalyst 10:33am

Rain was thundering down, the night I met Death.

I was at my writing desk when he came in, silent and dark and terrible. Outside my window the endless water drowned my garden, dammed in by stone walls. I looked quickly away, reining in my despair. "I know why you're here," I said.

"Do you," Death replied, more gently than I could have imagined.

"And it's not right. I've been damned for years and I figure I may as well reign in Hell as here. I have a chess set --"

"No," said Death. "Do not ask me that."

"You don't have a choice," I told him, pointing at chalk symbols on the floor. "I invoke the rite of challenge."

"Then you will lose," said Death, "either way. I have to take someone."

"Yes," I said, smiling wanly at him, "I know. Play, soulwright."







(2) CDeminski 10:41am
Row! Damn the oars that heave and sigh. The wail of the sea tells me that the weather's going to change boys.

Row! To the right, to the right! This ain't no sashay boys, this is a sprint.

Row! The waves are no dam against this rain, whether we stay or go. No whale surfaces here, although they are friend, not foe.

Row! This is a rite of passage, from boys to men you'll be if we reach the shore. Slough off your fatigue and think of your favorite gal, we don't want to have to bail these boats.

Row! The reign of the Lady of the Sea is fierce boys, she's slew many before us with wale upon wale on their flesh, her sachet of salt scent tells me so.

Row! I'll write the truest tale when we make it boys and raise a glass to you, so row!




(3) Steve Forti 10:57am
Marshal Marshall marshaled martial artists through the back door. “Hurry, and stay quiet.” Moments earlier, they had been sparring against faux foes in their nearby dojo, but now Marshall needed their help fighting these ecoterrorists intent on blowing up this damn dam.

“A single fissure in the right spot could be catastrophic,” Jenkins muttered. “And then…”

“Say goodbye to that town of fishermen and wheelwrights.”

He’d once heard a whale wail as it crashed into the wale of an old ark, but the sound of the bomb exploding was far worse on the ears. It was topped only by the groaning of buckling supports as the water burst through in arcs bound for the stream below.

Marshall cringed, then opened his eyes, realizing it wasn’t the bomb. A production assistant had tripped, knocking over a ladder and sending a pitcher of water flying across the room.

“Cut!” the director sighed.




(4)Wry Wryter 2:25pm
I must write about its wail; a haunting sound of utter distress. The length of an oar, the baby whale helplessly thrashed in the shallow surf; we tried to push him out to deeper water. As he fought us, to remain beached, a nasty wale rose across my cheek. How could something so magnificent seek death? Was he suffering some kind of life ending rite? How did he know to swim to where the water ended?

As we tired, he too rested, on his right side motionless, as if to say I’ve had enough, let me go.

Doctor Ore, from The Wright Aquarium, was the first to hear the high pitched music of the mother, singing to her baby on the beach.

“Quickly,” he said, “push the baby into deeper water before his mother leaves, or joins him on the beach.”
We heaved. We cheered. We cried. He swam.






And the winner is CDeminski 10:41am.  Send me your mailing address and I'll send you a copy of THE CUT by George Pelecanos, a wonderful book and the start of what I hope is a new series from a great writer. (If you're not a fan of crime fiction, we can find another book for you!)

Thanks again to all who entered! You guys slay me!

Ionia Sanction review

Corby, Gary. The Ionia Sanction. Minotaur: St. Martin’s. Nov. 2011. c.304p. maps. ISBN 9780312599010. $24.99. M
Mix one part ancient history, one part clever and contemporary banter, and one part action, and you have a top-notch crime caper. Corby brings back his dynamic crime-­detecting couple, Nicolaos and Diotima, for their second outing (after The Pericles Commission). Pericles dispatches Nicolaos abroad to Ephesus to return a slave girl who’s really a government official’s daughter and to retrieve a stolen document that should explain why an Athenian diplomat was hanged. The arrogance of Athenian native Nicolaos is quickly dashed when he’s confronted with new customs in this region controlled by Persia. Luckily, the charming Diotima paves the way. Layers of intrigue pile up, and our duo can see that time may run out before they can smuggle critical information—and get themselves—back to Athens.VERDICT The mix of real history with a crime romp makes Corby’s sequel go down easily. The author deftly concocts a Mel Brooks type of history. Highly recommended for those looking for humor with their crime detecting.
http://www.libraryjournal.com/lj/reviews/genrefiction/891460-280/mystery_reviews_september_1_2011.html.csp

Pitch versus query

Pitches and queries are not the same thing. They're like eating apples and pie apples: both apples but different purposes.

A good query tells you just enough about the book to entice you to read on.  I yammer endlessly about that topic over at QueryShark.  Other really sterling examples can be found in "Briefly Noted" the New Yorker magazine book review section, and in Shelf Awareness reviews.

It's harder to find good examples of pitches.  Today's issue of Shelf Awareness has both.

In the review of  THERE BUT FOR by Valerie Ryan, here's the second paragraph:


Once a year, Genevieve and Eric Lee give an "alternative" annual dinner party, to which they "invite people who were a bit different from the people they usually saw, as well as friends they saw all the time." Maybe a Muslim, a Jew or a Palestinian--a foray into diversity. This year a friend of a friend, Mark Palmer, brings Miles Garth with him. The title of the first section is "There," followed by "was once a man who, one night between the main course and the sweet at a dinner party, went upstairs and locked himself in one of the bedrooms of the house of the people who were giving the dinner party." That man is Miles. And thereby hangs the tale.


Now, do you want to read more? Heck yes you do. That's the basis of a query letter.

But if someone says "hey, what's your book about?" you're not going to recite that paragraph. Not unless you want their eyeballs to glaze over anyway. No, this is where you need The Pitch.

Here's the shelf talker for that very same book:

A dinner guest excuses himself from the table, goes upstairs and locks himself in a bedroom, where he remains for three months. We wonder why. Four people try to tell us.

Short, to the point, enticing.

You need a query letter AND a pitch. You don't combine the two. Read good examples to get a sense of how this works. Shelf Awareness is a good place to start. You can subscribe to their daily email at no cost.***




***The expense is that you'll want to order a lot of the books they talk about. Frankly, it would cost me less to send Marilyn Dahl to Antarctica for six months than to continue to read her reviews. On the other hand, every book I read from her reviews is amazing. It's a dilemma.