"I just like to throw murder into the equation when given a chance."--John Davis Frain
Hahaaha...is that for real? It seems too ridiculous to be authentic. Ed McMahon to post a party at McDonalds. Bwahahahaha...too funny!
I wish I would have thought to do that. I never take enough opportunities to troll people and businesses.
Oh, that's beautiful. It's just...wow. I don't know who I feel sorrier for, Mr. Aronson, the telemarketers, or the "quadriplegic hooker from Singapore."
Are you sure this isn't somebody's twisted idea of a query letter? I'm pretty sure that same quadriplegic hooker showed up in the Query Shark's blog recently.
Ah, thanks for that. Really made me laugh!
I laughed until I cried. *Goes to find rocks and gold paint*
Given what I know about the Cash4Gold scam? They more than had this coming. AWESOME.
Whoa. That was like a masters' level of crazy. Even my relatives would be impressed.
Seriously, where do you find this stuff???
Awesome. Maybe this is from one of those "Letters from a Nut" books? http://browseinside.harpercollins.ca/index.aspx?isbn13=9780380973545
Sounds like next "feel good story of the summer." You better sign that guy quick. ;)
Dear Ms ReidBrings to mind this old crazypants classic:http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/1ab6b0046d/stranger-than-fictiondylan
That frame looks like genuine plastic.Clearly, Cash4Gold knows a keeper when they see one.
Mr. Haberny has some serious rocks.
Unlike literary agents, though, the Cash4Gold people deserve to deal with this kind of insanity, for two reasons:1) They are a reprehensible company that preys upon the desperate and the ill-informed.2) That misused apostrophe in "telemarketer's" and their dubious usage of the word "feral."
This is very funny, but obviously a joke. The expositional structure alone...
Oh my. Joke or serious.... it's still a joke. Very, very funny. And I already found the Cash4Gold ads to be pretty funny by themselves.
"Feral and preposterous." AHAHAH! I like it, actually... it's sort of poetic.
Janet, if this is a query letter, you should sign him up at once!This letter is gold! No pun intended.
Either the guy is insane or... it's actually an incredibly dry "Andy Kaufman" type of humor that apparently "Cash 4 Gold" didn't catch on to. (Personally I think it's the latter. In which case that's hysterical... The former being just sad.)-C
Wow. Just wow.
My theory is that this Harbeny guy is one of Randy Quaid's star whackers.
There's more than one story in that letter. Maybe a thriller...
To quote one of the Harry Potter characters, "TROOOOOLL! TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!"And a deliciously evil troll he is, too.
Oh man, that is priceless! What do those people expect?
Apparently, Jeff Aronson has no sense of humor.
As the elite literary would say, "Looks like something *one* would see on facebook." And with a quasi British accent.
This sounds like an April Fool's joke. I'm just not sure on whom.
I googled this guy, it seems this is his schtick. He sends outrageous letters to whomever he deems worthy to be punked. There are two letters on his web page, one from the West Wing and the other from MoMA in NYC.He's a waste of creative energy.
If only this letter had arrived in the mailbox of "Cash 4 Crazy." The guy could have been crazy rich.If this isn't real then it's hilarious.If it is real, the guy should start his own religion, and commence baptizin' all of us in the spritz that is his insanity. Hallelujah!
Hope this wasn't copyrighted as I have already sent it all over. Close friends in gold-buying industry will wet themselves.
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