"I will be forever indebted to your blog, and to Colin's "Treasure Chest" - boy, when you need that thing, you really need it!"--author with offer in hand
I liked number seven, in a non-creepy, non-stalkerish way.
That was hilarious. I also favored #12; however, if I received that, I would like provide a polite reply that, as spiders don't eat critters (they drink blood), the plot would suffer as a result. No sense worrying about regurgitation, VD or other tortures when dead. And I might add that errors like that are what got the author rejected.
Dear Agent:Due to the large number of rejection letters received daily, I am no longer able to be entirely disheartened by each.Please rest assured that your rejection has been fully considered, and while devastating, it just is not right for me.Please remember that taste is subjective, and do not view this as a comment on your ability to reject. Other writers will undoubtedly be encouraged to cut off their own fingers with a dull butter knife rather than ever write another word.Best of luck in your future rejection endeavors!
2 and 12 for sure
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