Me (reaching for cell phone hidden under octopus): Whut?
Chipper voice: This is Inge VonPeepenskeeven, formerly of the Slitherina Literary Agency and Gin Appreciation Society! Happy DAY ONE Day!
Me: huh, whut???
Inge: (quite chipper, clearly too happy to last long in publishing) Today is the launch date for Bill Cameron's DAY ONE! We're calling to make sure you have your copy?
Inge: Please, Miss Reid, have you bought a copy of DAY ONE yet?
Me: Buy? BUY? I have YET to forgive Bill Cameron for What He Did to Eager™.! BUY A COPY? He'll be lucky if I ever tweet to him again, that rapscallion reprobate! (sounds of snarling and octopus scuttling under desk)
Inge: Miss Reid? Miss Reid?
Inge: Mr. Cameron sent cupcakes to your office. Miss Townsend and Miss Barnes are poised like raptors with forks and serviettes. Miss Evans, in fact BOTH Miss Evans, are swinging from the chandelier by their knees holding tongs!
Me: All is forgiven! I'll be RIGHT there! Hold them off Inge! Hold them OFF!
Inge: Where oh where did I put my application for the convent?