Monday, February 01, 2010

This just cracked me up

How many agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Agent 1: Sorry, we're not accepting screw in light bulbs anymore. Bayonets only, and we only get them from the store.

Agent 2: We considered your light bulb but it's a bit too modern. Have you tried turning it into a candle?

A3: Loved your light bulb. Great light. Lots of illumination. Unfortunately, the agency's decided to remain in the dark indefinitely.


Rachelle Gardner's blog
is the source of all merriment today.

18 comments:

Ann Elle Altman said...

That is just so funny!

ann

Candyland said...

Funny and sadly very accurate!

Furious D said...

Not only was that funny, and true, it pretty much sums my entire agent hunt experience so far.

Leona said...

:D Love it!!

Susan Kaye Quinn said...

Thanks for the funny!

Debra Lynn Shelton said...

Ohmygod - this is freaking hysterical. #amtweeting ;-)

Christi Goddard said...

Agent 4: We've considered your bulb of radiance. However, this firm mostly deals with passing around the torch.

Josin L. McQuein said...

Agent 4:
I'm sorry. It's the policy of this agency not to accept light bulbs unless pasted into the body of the email.

Agent 5:
Thank you for giving us the chance to enjoy your light bulb. I apologize for the impersonal nature of this correspondence, but we get so many lightbulbs it's hard to tell one from the other. There's just nothing about this bulb that outshone the others.

Agent 6:
Your bulb is far too purple. It makes the room look weird.

Agent 7:
I'm sorry, but we only accept bulbs between 15 Watts and 60 Watts. 120 Watts is too far out of range for the safety of the office. Please cut the bulb in half.

Agent 8:
Please see agency policy about unsolicited gifts. Your bulb came with a lamp, and no we don't believe you bought it that way. It has your face screened onto the shade.

Agent 9:
I'm sorry, we don't accept bulbs you made yourself in shop class.

Agent 10:
We are not convinced this is a bulb. It is, in fact, terrifying and bears no resemblance to a bulb at all.


Okay... I'll stop.

Besides, isn't menial labor like bulb changing what interns are for?

:-P

Unknown said...

Thanks for sharing.

Melony said...

Agent 5: Your lightbulb is amazing and perfect in every way, however, we just don't love it enough to help screw it in.;)

Unknown said...

My favorite was the blonde joke. That amused me to no end. :)

TAWNA FENSKE said...

*snort!*

Melissa Roberts said...

sorry for the long delay in assessing your light bulb. i really struggled with this one. It was globe-shaped, had a bayonette fitting and shed lots of light. however, in the final analysis, this amount of light just wasn't for me. I wish you every success in screwing your light bulb into an appropriate appeture. yours, agent 5. sigh.

Michael Solender said...

Two, if they can fit in there.

Alli Sinclair said...

Brilliant!

Rebecca Knight said...

"Please cut the bulb in half." Josin, this cracked me up ;)!

Great stuff!

Steve Stubbs said...

Oh, I can beat that:

A4: The current market does not need light bulbs. We all just rely on our own brilliance here.

A5: I like your idea but am not sure how or where I could sell a light bulb. Or why, for that matter,

A6: Gawd, another light bulb. If I ever see another light bulb in the mail I am going to go berserk. As a matter of fact, I just did. Besides, it arrived broken. I liked the powdered sugar you put in the package, though. At first we thought it was anthrax.

A7: Been done before. Some guy named Edison. Come up with something new and original and query again.

KEN said...

How many agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Without any light in the office, agents have an excuse to not to read their slush piles.

Kidding ;-)