My spam filter makes me look like a pussycat.
Her name is Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and the desert is the Sahara of no-response.
You don't want to hang out with Priscilla.
One fast way to engage Priscilla's attentions is for your send name not to match your email name. And when it doesn't, and Priscilla consigns you to the desert, I won't save you. If I "mouse over" your email name -for example BarbaraPoelle- and what I see is that it comes from "slitherycompetitor@spam.com" I don't reel you up into the incoming mail. I let you lie there.
It's not the @spam.com that I toss you for it's the slitherycompetitor. Make sure your email name and your name are close enough I can recognize them as the same person.
You adjust this in SETTINGS. If you have no clue what I'm talking about, get some help from a colleague who understands email. Chances are you're fine, but don't assume.
There are some other tips on email here at the Bad Pitch Blog.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
WSJ prints opinion article that is horsehit I disagree with
Here's the link
Google is in the process of digitizing books. The Google Settlement makes sure authors get paid for that. It's hard for me to understand why an agent would object to authors getting paid. I usually only object if my authors aren't getting paid enough.
Perhaps the answer is that I actually read the settlement and attended the two AAR sponsored programs on it. Ms. Chu states overtly in her first paragraph that if she read it at all, she didn't understand it ("understanding this monstrosity by May 5, 2009, is going to be rough")
Also, Ms Chu is wrong. The May 5, 2009 deadline is an opt-out deadline (not an opt-in or ignore). Unless you opt out, you are in the class, and covered by the settlement. If you opt-out, the only right you preserve is your right to sue Google for copyright infringement.
Ms Chu uses "class representatives" in quotes to indicate she questions that designation, and further asserts "no one elected" these people. Of course they weren't elected. They're plaintiffs in a lawsuit.
"Class representatives" is a designation in the lawsuit. It's not like class representatives to the Student Council. It's puzzling why anyone would expect a million authors to each do their own work on this case. The idea of people with similar concerns banding together to have a "class representative" in such lawsuits is one of the many reasons authors belong to the Authors Guild, publishers to the AAP and so on. I'm all for individual rights, but let's be sensible here.
Then, Ms. Chus is either uninformed about or simply ignoring the existing rights licensing and monitoring "quasi-judicial bureaucracies" (The quotes are multi-tasking here: I'm both quoting her and questioning the accuracy of the designation): BMI and ASCAP.
The music industry has long had several associations registering, monitoring, collecting, and disbursing licensing fees for music. I'm familiar with BMI and ASCAP but there are others. It's a pretty easy system to use. It's worked well for a long time. It's not perfect, no system is. What it does though is beat the hell out of each composer or rights holder trying to collect licensing fees individually.
What ASCAP and BMI do, and what the proposed Rights Licensing for Authors group will do, is offer a single place for people to register their works, and for people who want to license those works to obtain permission and render payment. This is a critical step in the Google Settlement because the value of a huge digitized body of works is not in a single work but in the completeness of the body.
In other words, a work has more value as part of the collection than by itself. Libraries will license a collection of works, but individual authors will get paid. A central rights clearing organization is the only efficient way to do this.
Ms Chu should in fact pay a royalty to Chicken Little for infringing on his sky is falling histrionics. For those who seek a more measured look at the settlement, The Author's Guild is a good place to start.
Google is in the process of digitizing books. The Google Settlement makes sure authors get paid for that. It's hard for me to understand why an agent would object to authors getting paid. I usually only object if my authors aren't getting paid enough.
Perhaps the answer is that I actually read the settlement and attended the two AAR sponsored programs on it. Ms. Chu states overtly in her first paragraph that if she read it at all, she didn't understand it ("understanding this monstrosity by May 5, 2009, is going to be rough")
Also, Ms Chu is wrong. The May 5, 2009 deadline is an opt-out deadline (not an opt-in or ignore). Unless you opt out, you are in the class, and covered by the settlement. If you opt-out, the only right you preserve is your right to sue Google for copyright infringement.
Ms Chu uses "class representatives" in quotes to indicate she questions that designation, and further asserts "no one elected" these people. Of course they weren't elected. They're plaintiffs in a lawsuit.
"Class representatives" is a designation in the lawsuit. It's not like class representatives to the Student Council. It's puzzling why anyone would expect a million authors to each do their own work on this case. The idea of people with similar concerns banding together to have a "class representative" in such lawsuits is one of the many reasons authors belong to the Authors Guild, publishers to the AAP and so on. I'm all for individual rights, but let's be sensible here.
Then, Ms. Chus is either uninformed about or simply ignoring the existing rights licensing and monitoring "quasi-judicial bureaucracies" (The quotes are multi-tasking here: I'm both quoting her and questioning the accuracy of the designation): BMI and ASCAP.
The music industry has long had several associations registering, monitoring, collecting, and disbursing licensing fees for music. I'm familiar with BMI and ASCAP but there are others. It's a pretty easy system to use. It's worked well for a long time. It's not perfect, no system is. What it does though is beat the hell out of each composer or rights holder trying to collect licensing fees individually.
What ASCAP and BMI do, and what the proposed Rights Licensing for Authors group will do, is offer a single place for people to register their works, and for people who want to license those works to obtain permission and render payment. This is a critical step in the Google Settlement because the value of a huge digitized body of works is not in a single work but in the completeness of the body.
In other words, a work has more value as part of the collection than by itself. Libraries will license a collection of works, but individual authors will get paid. A central rights clearing organization is the only efficient way to do this.
Ms Chu should in fact pay a royalty to Chicken Little for infringing on his sky is falling histrionics. For those who seek a more measured look at the settlement, The Author's Guild is a good place to start.
Thanks, Chuck!
Many thanks to Chuck Sambuchino for his kind words about this blog and Query Shark.
I guess I'd better fork over the twenty dollar bill soon!
I guess I'd better fork over the twenty dollar bill soon!
Query letters in a nutshell
Editorial Anonymous is one of my must-read blogs. As usual she has some valuable things to say, this time about the bio section of a query letter.
My favorite though, and really what sums up the entire goal of a query letter is at the bottom:
My favorite though, and really what sums up the entire goal of a query letter is at the bottom:
I couldn't have said it better myself.
As I have said before, every query, every cover letter, every submission, is really just trying to get across two big things: (1) How great your manuscript is. (2) What a yahoo you are not.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
I love this city, I do!
This one can only be filed under "only in NYC" I think.
And of course, there's a blog about it too (read in reverse order!)
Of course, I ordered a bozo immediately. We can't be left out of the fun here on 35th Street!
And of course, there's a blog about it too (read in reverse order!)
Of course, I ordered a bozo immediately. We can't be left out of the fun here on 35th Street!
Make the right kinds of mistakes
Many novels have a phrase on the cover that says "a name here novel".
Examples: a Ray Sharp novel; an Avery Cates novel.
When you write a query letter and tell me your book is like a thriller similar to those written by Ray Sharp, or crime noir like the talented Avery Cates I laugh so hard I blow coffee out my nose.
Unless you intend to be hilarious, this is NOT the reaction you want to your query.
I thought it was obvious these are the names of characters. You can tell who the author is; that's the OTHER name on the book. When you look on Amazon, the author is the name that's preceded by "by."
If you didn't know that, now you do.
This is a mistake of carelessness. It's a huge warning sign. My goal is to always work with writers who err on the other side of care: they slave over every word. I'd rather have authors from whom I have to wrest pages as they wail "it's not done! it's not done!" than authors who throw pages at me saying "here, make sure I didn't confuse The Light Brigade with ConEdison. They're both in New Jersey, right?"
There's a reason for this. When I know you are meticulous, I don't assume the innovative things you do are wrong. For example, I represent Steve Ulfelder, a writer of precision and craft of the highest caliber. Good thing too, since his other job is high performance racing cars.
When Steve uses words I recognize but not in the context he's using them, I don't think "whoa, mistake." I look the word up. And yes indeed, I learn something. He's correct. I trust him because I know that he's meticulous. Sure he's made mistakes, and he's got a few pages from me with red marks to prove it. But, he's also as careful a writer as I've seen, and that's one of the reasons I'm very pleased to represent him.
Mistakes aren't the problem in query letters. Making the wrong mistakes: that's the problem.
Examples: a Ray Sharp novel; an Avery Cates novel.
When you write a query letter and tell me your book is like a thriller similar to those written by Ray Sharp, or crime noir like the talented Avery Cates I laugh so hard I blow coffee out my nose.
Unless you intend to be hilarious, this is NOT the reaction you want to your query.
I thought it was obvious these are the names of characters. You can tell who the author is; that's the OTHER name on the book. When you look on Amazon, the author is the name that's preceded by "by."
If you didn't know that, now you do.
This is a mistake of carelessness. It's a huge warning sign. My goal is to always work with writers who err on the other side of care: they slave over every word. I'd rather have authors from whom I have to wrest pages as they wail "it's not done! it's not done!" than authors who throw pages at me saying "here, make sure I didn't confuse The Light Brigade with ConEdison. They're both in New Jersey, right?"
There's a reason for this. When I know you are meticulous, I don't assume the innovative things you do are wrong. For example, I represent Steve Ulfelder, a writer of precision and craft of the highest caliber. Good thing too, since his other job is high performance racing cars.
When Steve uses words I recognize but not in the context he's using them, I don't think "whoa, mistake." I look the word up. And yes indeed, I learn something. He's correct. I trust him because I know that he's meticulous. Sure he's made mistakes, and he's got a few pages from me with red marks to prove it. But, he's also as careful a writer as I've seen, and that's one of the reasons I'm very pleased to represent him.
Mistakes aren't the problem in query letters. Making the wrong mistakes: that's the problem.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
tell me what you think
I've been prowling around the interwebs and come across a couple agencies that use online submission forms. I'd like your opinion. Here's an example.
Do you like online submission form? Why?
Do you detest them? Why?
Do you seek out or bypass agencies doing this or is it of no consequence either way?
Here's a quick poll if you'd rather just click!
Anything else you'd like to tell me? Comments column!
Do you like online submission form? Why?
Do you detest them? Why?
Do you seek out or bypass agencies doing this or is it of no consequence either way?
Here's a quick poll if you'd rather just click!
Anything else you'd like to tell me? Comments column!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Justin Case-geeze you guys
Ok, I'm reading the comments section on the blog post and I'm getting worried about y'all. First, I didn't mean to imply that you take the accoutrement's of your writing life on vacation, and that you be ready to spring into action at the beck and call of an agent.
I just took a week's vacation, turned off the phone, didn't look at the email, and let me tell you it was GREAT.
Writers should do that too.
Nor do I suggest that you hover at your inbox waiting for a reply for months on end.
Clearly I need to work on my writing skills if that was what I conveyed!
First, if you go on vacation and an email arrives, just let it sit there. You don't need to tell me you'll get back to me after a sundrenched spin around the Caribbean. (in fact, if I know which ship, I may come down and get the manuscript in person---you booked a big cabin right?)
Second, if you know you are going on vacation (and you SHOULD!! go on vacation) just send your queries out afterwards.
Third, don't pack your USB drive in your luggage which the airline will lose. That is, in fact, what happened to the last querier who sent me an email saying she'd get back to me later. We had a laugh over that, she'll send the ms when she gets back, and life will go on.
Now, I'm off to remedial writing school for a quick brush up on clarity. The rest of you go look at Travelzoo.com that lists last minute travel deals, and take what appears to be a MUCH NEEDED chill out!
I just took a week's vacation, turned off the phone, didn't look at the email, and let me tell you it was GREAT.
Writers should do that too.
Nor do I suggest that you hover at your inbox waiting for a reply for months on end.
Clearly I need to work on my writing skills if that was what I conveyed!
First, if you go on vacation and an email arrives, just let it sit there. You don't need to tell me you'll get back to me after a sundrenched spin around the Caribbean. (in fact, if I know which ship, I may come down and get the manuscript in person---you booked a big cabin right?)
Second, if you know you are going on vacation (and you SHOULD!! go on vacation) just send your queries out afterwards.
Third, don't pack your USB drive in your luggage which the airline will lose. That is, in fact, what happened to the last querier who sent me an email saying she'd get back to me later. We had a laugh over that, she'll send the ms when she gets back, and life will go on.
Now, I'm off to remedial writing school for a quick brush up on clarity. The rest of you go look at Travelzoo.com that lists last minute travel deals, and take what appears to be a MUCH NEEDED chill out!
Building Platform, Getting Known
One of the easiest ways to start building platform is to be a regular commenter, part of the community so to speak, on blogs.
There's an art to writing good comments, and like most short-form writing it's a helluva lot harder than it looks.
Here's a list of nine tips for writing good blog comments posted by Grammar Girl.
There's an art to writing good comments, and like most short-form writing it's a helluva lot harder than it looks.
Here's a list of nine tips for writing good blog comments posted by Grammar Girl.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Bill Cameron got his hands on an early review copy of Portland Noir and reports contributor Jess Walter's story is "breathtaking." I don't doubt it after reading The Zero (which a couple of other people also thought was amazing.)
I've read Bill's story in the anthology, Coffee, Black and he's a pretty fine writer himself, if I do say so!
Added bonus: stories by Karen Karbo, and Floyd Skloot (whom I've mentioned here before).
Judge for yourself though: Portland Noir is available for pre-order on Amazon, due to be pubbed June 1. You should give it to your hard-to-please father (or father in law!) for Dad's Day.
I've read Bill's story in the anthology, Coffee, Black and he's a pretty fine writer himself, if I do say so!
Added bonus: stories by Karen Karbo, and Floyd Skloot (whom I've mentioned here before).
Judge for yourself though: Portland Noir is available for pre-order on Amazon, due to be pubbed June 1. You should give it to your hard-to-please father (or father in law!) for Dad's Day.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Some Query Letter Fundamentals
1. I'm in this for money, not love. That means you can have the purest heart under the sun, and not want a single dime for your work, but I'm not going to work with you if you want to give it away.
Telling me you're willing to give away your work in order to get published is not persuasive. Don't include it in a query letter.
2. Sending a CD of your work in the mail ensures two things: I will throw it away unopened and you will have wasted your postage and CD cost.
3. Sending an email with a reading receipt annoys the snot out of the query readers here. They click cancel, or ignore or whatever gets the thing off the screen fastest. There is NO correalation between what the receipt says in terms of time read or opened and when those things, IF those things, actually occured. I understand why you want to use them. Don't.
Telling me you're willing to give away your work in order to get published is not persuasive. Don't include it in a query letter.
2. Sending a CD of your work in the mail ensures two things: I will throw it away unopened and you will have wasted your postage and CD cost.
3. Sending an email with a reading receipt annoys the snot out of the query readers here. They click cancel, or ignore or whatever gets the thing off the screen fastest. There is NO correalation between what the receipt says in terms of time read or opened and when those things, IF those things, actually occured. I understand why you want to use them. Don't.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Justin's Case
I've been working my way through the vacation backlog of incoming queries, so of course I've found some projects I want to read. I send back a request for a full. (I've almost totally stopped asking for partials now that it's all electronic--it's just easier to have the whole thing here at once)
What baffles me is when I get something akin to this in response:
"Oh, great to hear from you, I've just left on vacation, I'll be in touch when I get back."
Wait. You've queried me--within the week!!--and you've just left on vacation? A two WEEK vacation? Did you think you'd not be hearing from anyone?
Did you think this was the best way to deal with query-jitters?
I can understand stomach flu, an unexpected family emergency, a sudden call up to pitch for the Yankees, but a pre-planned vacation right after you query?
No. Just no.
And even if it turns out that you must do this, here's what you do. TAKE your frigging ms WITH you so you can send it! Be prepared for success!
A beloved friend of mine taught me that lesson some years back. We were gathered at our local watering hole catching up. She mentioned the new boss at work, how the boss didn't seem to much like her, and budget cuts were all around. My friend was pretty sure she was going to get fired.
Instead she got a promotion. The meeting where she had expected the ax turned into a planning session for the next year. My friend was excitedly talking about her list of ideas she'd brought to the meeting.
"Whoa," said I. "Let me get this straight. You thought you were about ready to be fired?"
"Yup," said pal. "Out the door, here's your hat, what's your hurry."
"And yet," said I. "There you were with a list of ideas for future projects? In your purse, at that meeting?"
"Well, sure," she said. "Just in case!"
Just in case.
Smartest business practice I'd seen in weeks.
Today's advice: be ready for someone to ask for your manuscript as soon as you hit "send".
Just in case!
What baffles me is when I get something akin to this in response:
"Oh, great to hear from you, I've just left on vacation, I'll be in touch when I get back."
Wait. You've queried me--within the week!!--and you've just left on vacation? A two WEEK vacation? Did you think you'd not be hearing from anyone?
Did you think this was the best way to deal with query-jitters?
I can understand stomach flu, an unexpected family emergency, a sudden call up to pitch for the Yankees, but a pre-planned vacation right after you query?
No. Just no.
And even if it turns out that you must do this, here's what you do. TAKE your frigging ms WITH you so you can send it! Be prepared for success!
A beloved friend of mine taught me that lesson some years back. We were gathered at our local watering hole catching up. She mentioned the new boss at work, how the boss didn't seem to much like her, and budget cuts were all around. My friend was pretty sure she was going to get fired.
Instead she got a promotion. The meeting where she had expected the ax turned into a planning session for the next year. My friend was excitedly talking about her list of ideas she'd brought to the meeting.
"Whoa," said I. "Let me get this straight. You thought you were about ready to be fired?"
"Yup," said pal. "Out the door, here's your hat, what's your hurry."
"And yet," said I. "There you were with a list of ideas for future projects? In your purse, at that meeting?"
"Well, sure," she said. "Just in case!"
Just in case.
Smartest business practice I'd seen in weeks.
Today's advice: be ready for someone to ask for your manuscript as soon as you hit "send".
Just in case!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I'm just not that into me, either
One of the things that just makes me snarl when reading query letters is "your job as an agent" followed by anything. Even if it's complimentary.
It grates on my next to last nerve.
The query letter isn't about my job as an agent; not how hard it is (it isn't), how important it is (I'm not curing cancer here), or what a divine responsibility it is (the only divinity in this office comes in a box). I'm not making those up either--I've seen all of them.
A query letter is about YOU. Tell me about your project. And you, if you must. We can save extolling my fabulosity until I've done something hard, important or divine: like sell your book.
It grates on my next to last nerve.
The query letter isn't about my job as an agent; not how hard it is (it isn't), how important it is (I'm not curing cancer here), or what a divine responsibility it is (the only divinity in this office comes in a box). I'm not making those up either--I've seen all of them.
A query letter is about YOU. Tell me about your project. And you, if you must. We can save extolling my fabulosity until I've done something hard, important or divine: like sell your book.
Phono-daft
I've said it before, I'll say it again:
Don't call a literary agency.
Unless you are invited to call, or you are represented by the agency, stay off the phone.
In case the corollary isn't clear, let me say this next thing plainly:
Don't call an editor either.
And really don't call pretending to call for your (or any) agent.
The only thing this does is give me fresh material with which to torment Moonrat next week.
Don't call a literary agency.
Unless you are invited to call, or you are represented by the agency, stay off the phone.
In case the corollary isn't clear, let me say this next thing plainly:
Don't call an editor either.
And really don't call pretending to call for your (or any) agent.
The only thing this does is give me fresh material with which to torment Moonrat next week.
"my first book was published by AuthorHouse/iUniverse"
My reaction to that sentence in a query letter is not what you hope it will be when you write it. You hope it implies "experienced author with pub credit who has a sales record."
What I infer from it is "book that sold fewer than 200 copies and means author can't be listed as a debut novelist."
Lest you think I'm making up the sold fewer statistic, here's a recent post at How Publishing Really Works blog that elaborates on that. It's drawn from a longer post at Writer Beware on the topic of POD.
When you write a query letter, you want everything in it to be persuasive. An AuthorHouse/iUniverse book is not persuasive. If you've had a book printed there, leave it out of your query letter.
What I infer from it is "book that sold fewer than 200 copies and means author can't be listed as a debut novelist."
Lest you think I'm making up the sold fewer statistic, here's a recent post at How Publishing Really Works blog that elaborates on that. It's drawn from a longer post at Writer Beware on the topic of POD.
When you write a query letter, you want everything in it to be persuasive. An AuthorHouse/iUniverse book is not persuasive. If you've had a book printed there, leave it out of your query letter.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Avery Cates is not a nice man
When you get an email with the subject line: You & Your Talented Client, the Sadist, it's not a surprise that the pursed-lip, squinty-eyed, Church Lady acolyte spam filter says "not so fast, bucko."
I've learned to comb through the contents every once in a while, and boy am I glad I did, cause here's one of the most interesting posts about Jeff Somers and The Digital Plague that I've seen in a while.
Dawn Metcalf is a writer herself so it's interesting to see what she has to say about first person POV and sympathetic/redeemable characters.
I particularly liked what she said here: "I can empathize with Avery Cates (even though I’d never want to meet an Avery Cates!) but it’s not because I can sympathize with him; it’s because in the pages of Somers’ book, I am Avery Cates."
I've learned to comb through the contents every once in a while, and boy am I glad I did, cause here's one of the most interesting posts about Jeff Somers and The Digital Plague that I've seen in a while.
Dawn Metcalf is a writer herself so it's interesting to see what she has to say about first person POV and sympathetic/redeemable characters.
I particularly liked what she said here: "I can empathize with Avery Cates (even though I’d never want to meet an Avery Cates!) but it’s not because I can sympathize with him; it’s because in the pages of Somers’ book, I am Avery Cates."
Thomas Perry on EVEN
I first heard of the novelist Thomas Perry when a friend frog-marched me into Powells, put a copy of Metzger's Dog into my paw saying, "Buy this. You'll thank me." I did, and I did.
Then I read his Jane Whitfield novels. To say I became a slavering, drooling, desperate Thomas Perry fan is probably a bit too vivid, but it's also very true.
I had a chance to say howdy to him at BEA this year, but of course, with all that slavering and drooling I'm not sure he was equally glad to meet me.
I mention this because one of the very coolest things about this job is finding the authors you love also like the authors you represent.
Here's what Thomas Perry has to say about Andrew Grant's upcoming thriller EVEN:
Then I read his Jane Whitfield novels. To say I became a slavering, drooling, desperate Thomas Perry fan is probably a bit too vivid, but it's also very true.
I had a chance to say howdy to him at BEA this year, but of course, with all that slavering and drooling I'm not sure he was equally glad to meet me.
I mention this because one of the very coolest things about this job is finding the authors you love also like the authors you represent.
Here's what Thomas Perry has to say about Andrew Grant's upcoming thriller EVEN:
"IN EVEN, Andrew Grant introduces British naval intelligence officer David Trevellyan, a man born to fight and trained to win, locked in a suspenseful contest with terrifying adversaries. An excellent thriller that feels like breaking news."
Sunday, March 15, 2009
The agent bubble
It's very easy to lose perspective as an agent. Writers flock to us at conferences, listen intently to our every piece of advice, want to sit with us at lunch, send gifts in the mail. It's not quite rock star status but it's probably as close as most of us (certainly I!) will ever come.
It's even easier now with twitter and blogs bringing more writers eager to listen to every blessed word agents utter.
It's damn easy to start believing "I'm all that and a bag of chips; anyone who doesn't see my fabulosity is blind blind blind."
Agents can live in an isolation bubble about how writers think and feel about agenting practices. Complaints aren't met with open arms, and certainly in public forums like writers conferences they are actively discouraged or met with sarcasm.
And it's real easy to stay in that bubble because there aren't many places where agents get to see the other side. (AbsoluteWrite is one of the few. Most agents and editors I know skulk around over there to see what's being said.)
For writers there isn't much point telling truth to agents. It's a lot of risk for not much gain.
Thus, I'm (almost) always glad to get the occasional email responding to a stray comment (usually made somewhere other than my own blog) that shows me what writers think about agenting practices (particularly if they are someone else's transgressions not mine, of course!)
Here's a recent one, unedited:
It's the paragraph about "Agents who race you to 0 in the inbox" that brought me up short. That was me. In my defense I need to say it wasn't 0 in the query inbox, but 0 in the regular email, but the point is still valid.
It's also clear that no matter what I intended, readers perceived something else entirely. I don't have control over what people perceive of course, but being aware of how things MIGHT be received is valuable info. (It's the same reason I needed your help to redraft my form rejection letter-valuable insight into how things are perceived by writers.)
Twitter is great, and a very useful tool, but it's clear to me now that I need to be more careful how I joke around.
And I would love to see #agentfail if only to keep us all on our toes. I'm pretty sure I'll be standing all future rounds of drinks with all my colleagues for this idea, but I still like it.
It's even easier now with twitter and blogs bringing more writers eager to listen to every blessed word agents utter.
It's damn easy to start believing "I'm all that and a bag of chips; anyone who doesn't see my fabulosity is blind blind blind."
Agents can live in an isolation bubble about how writers think and feel about agenting practices. Complaints aren't met with open arms, and certainly in public forums like writers conferences they are actively discouraged or met with sarcasm.
And it's real easy to stay in that bubble because there aren't many places where agents get to see the other side. (AbsoluteWrite is one of the few. Most agents and editors I know skulk around over there to see what's being said.)
For writers there isn't much point telling truth to agents. It's a lot of risk for not much gain.
Thus, I'm (almost) always glad to get the occasional email responding to a stray comment (usually made somewhere other than my own blog) that shows me what writers think about agenting practices (particularly if they are someone else's transgressions not mine, of course!)
Here's a recent one, unedited:
Dear Janet,
You said on Nathan Bransford's blog that you'd like to see an #agentfail. Well, it won't ever happen because most Tweeting writers know enough to know it would be shooting ourselves in the foot to publicly complain about agents! I rarely even talk about querying and submissions on my blog, because I don't want to look desperate or make it sound like my novel is one that has been rejected so many times that no sane agent would want to touch it.
Querying agents is like asking someone to the prom. You want the one asked to feel special, not like "I'm only asking you because none of the popular girls would go out with me." To stretch the metaphor, I give a big #agentfail to agents who complain about the number of queries they get. Oh really? 500+ guys have asked you to the prom this month? And you just can't decide which of them to go with? Gee, must be tough being so reputable and popular. Sure, I appreciate that agents have a hard job, but so do I. Quit whining. (Er, them, not you, Janet :D)
An agent once sent me a photocopied 1/4 page form rejection on a full ms....on which she'd requested an exclusive....which she had for 5 months. #agentfail. (Honestly this one broke me of pursuing publication for several years. Yes, I suck, but it just broke me. Lesson learned the hard way about exclusives! Fortunately I am back to writing now, older and wiser and with a shiny new MS.)
Agent replied to an e-query (his profile on several pro websites said he accepted them) with this terse message: I am getting too many queries. I don't have time to read them, and I didn't read yours. Find another agent. #agentfail (Sorry, dude, a form rejection saying that you're no longer accepting queries would have been MUCH more professional.... although it did make me laugh rather than cry. Bless his cotton socks, he was overwhelmed.)
Agents who play "race you to 0 inbox" on Twitter. Sorry, I know it's meant in good spirits. To do it publicly in front of the people who have queried makes us feel like you won't be actually reading the queries sent, but rather sending out a flurry of form letters to win a game. I work hard at my personal, professional queries! #agentfail
I would never post this because I don't have a career deathwish, but you said you wanted to see #agentfail! Fortunately my gripes about agents are few and far between. Nearly all of the interactions with them have been positive, friendly, and helpful.
It's the paragraph about "Agents who race you to 0 in the inbox" that brought me up short. That was me. In my defense I need to say it wasn't 0 in the query inbox, but 0 in the regular email, but the point is still valid.
It's also clear that no matter what I intended, readers perceived something else entirely. I don't have control over what people perceive of course, but being aware of how things MIGHT be received is valuable info. (It's the same reason I needed your help to redraft my form rejection letter-valuable insight into how things are perceived by writers.)
Twitter is great, and a very useful tool, but it's clear to me now that I need to be more careful how I joke around.
And I would love to see #agentfail if only to keep us all on our toes. I'm pretty sure I'll be standing all future rounds of drinks with all my colleagues for this idea, but I still like it.
This is good writing advice
Of course I wish I'd said it, but I didn't.
My most slithery of colleagues, Barbara Poelle, wrote it.
Character traits.
My most slithery of colleagues, Barbara Poelle, wrote it.
Character traits.
The third dimension of query letters
I've returned from vacation (clearest sign one needs a vacation: writing up a lovely "away notice" for email--and forgetting to click "enable vacation message" before leaving...argh) to a deliciously full inbox of queries.
Incoming queries are a bit like Christmas with the extended family...some items are fabulously intriguing, and some are ...well...socks.
Anyway.
I've been trying to describe what I look for in queries. I've yapped about voice; I've huffed and puffed about write well.
But it's also true that I see queries with great voice and good writing, and I still say no. Unless I'm just picking queries at random from the compelling voice/writes well tank there's got to be one more variable.
If voice is the x-axis, and write well is the y-axis, then the z-axis, the third dimension is this: describe a book I want to read. (Remember when Mrs. Logan your 10th grade math teacher mentioned geometry would be useful later in life? Well, this is that time.)
This third dimension is the most subjective criteria of all. There are many many fine books I don't want to read. I started six of them while I was on vacation. Five were by well-known, well-reviewed writers. I just didn't much like the books and didn't want to read them. So I didn't. (I sucked up two John Harvey novels though-yummmm!)
What this means for those of you querying agents:
Describe the book you've written as though you're telling a friend about a great book they'll want to read right now.
Think about how you talk to your friends about books. Do you start out "this is a crime novel about curvy, radiant Wilbur who's racing against the clock and falls in with wily secretive miser Templeton?"
No, you don't. Well, I hope you don't.
You'd probably describe what happens, what the point of conflict is. Why you cared about what happened.
"A pig, Wilbur, at the Fair has to figure out how to win a prize but he's penned up plus, he doesn't have a lot of time. His friend Charlotte helps him but they have to figure out how to get help from their frenemy Templeton to make it all happen."
This is clearly a very very raw effort but you get the gist.
And this third dimension means you simply MUST query widely. There's no way to determine in advance if you're writing a book I want to read. The only way you'll know is if you query. And this isa criteria something over which you have NO control, so don't even think about fretting over it. Write well, work on your voice. The rest is up to chance; much like the situation Charlotte faced when Templeton went out foraging for words.
And if I say no, it's entirely possible you've written a really good book I just don't want to read. Take heart knowing that someone else will. Many many writers have built entire careers writing books I don't want to read. Why shouldn't you?
So, if you want to query me, go ahead. I'm glad to get every single query. I get a bit annoyed and impatient when queriers shoot themselves in the foot but it's never ever a waste of my time to get your query. Even the ones that elicit an exasperated "darn!" when opened.
Incoming queries are a bit like Christmas with the extended family...some items are fabulously intriguing, and some are ...well...socks.
Anyway.
I've been trying to describe what I look for in queries. I've yapped about voice; I've huffed and puffed about write well.
But it's also true that I see queries with great voice and good writing, and I still say no. Unless I'm just picking queries at random from the compelling voice/writes well tank there's got to be one more variable.
If voice is the x-axis, and write well is the y-axis, then the z-axis, the third dimension is this: describe a book I want to read. (Remember when Mrs. Logan your 10th grade math teacher mentioned geometry would be useful later in life? Well, this is that time.)
This third dimension is the most subjective criteria of all. There are many many fine books I don't want to read. I started six of them while I was on vacation. Five were by well-known, well-reviewed writers. I just didn't much like the books and didn't want to read them. So I didn't. (I sucked up two John Harvey novels though-yummmm!)
What this means for those of you querying agents:
Describe the book you've written as though you're telling a friend about a great book they'll want to read right now.
Think about how you talk to your friends about books. Do you start out "this is a crime novel about curvy, radiant Wilbur who's racing against the clock and falls in with wily secretive miser Templeton?"
No, you don't. Well, I hope you don't.
You'd probably describe what happens, what the point of conflict is. Why you cared about what happened.
"A pig, Wilbur, at the Fair has to figure out how to win a prize but he's penned up plus, he doesn't have a lot of time. His friend Charlotte helps him but they have to figure out how to get help from their frenemy Templeton to make it all happen."
This is clearly a very very raw effort but you get the gist.
And this third dimension means you simply MUST query widely. There's no way to determine in advance if you're writing a book I want to read. The only way you'll know is if you query. And this is
And if I say no, it's entirely possible you've written a really good book I just don't want to read. Take heart knowing that someone else will. Many many writers have built entire careers writing books I don't want to read. Why shouldn't you?
So, if you want to query me, go ahead. I'm glad to get every single query. I get a bit annoyed and impatient when queriers shoot themselves in the foot but it's never ever a waste of my time to get your query. Even the ones that elicit an exasperated "darn!" when opened.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Big LoveCategory
I've had a spate of queries that subscribe to the infomercial style of description:
It goes here!, and and it also goes there, and wait, here too, and if you stand on your head, it does THIS! And all for only 49,000 words! In verse!
In other words, it's a crime novel that could also appeal to readers of Sophie Kinsella, AND readers of Orson Scott Card, with of course a nod to Jane Kenyon.
Well hang on there just a second.
You don't need to write a book that could be on every bookshelf in the store. You don't have to be all things to all readers.
Do one thing well. Write a great crime novel. Call it that.
Write a great frothy fun romance. Call it that.
Write amazing science fiction. Call it that (well, sans the amazing part, leave that adjective to your readers)
Write poems. (Don't send them to me of course but feel free to write as much as you like.)
In other words, when you're telling me where the book goes on the shelf, pick ONE.
You don't even have to be right.
You just have to be, well, monogamous.
It goes here!, and and it also goes there, and wait, here too, and if you stand on your head, it does THIS! And all for only 49,000 words! In verse!
In other words, it's a crime novel that could also appeal to readers of Sophie Kinsella, AND readers of Orson Scott Card, with of course a nod to Jane Kenyon.
Well hang on there just a second.
You don't need to write a book that could be on every bookshelf in the store. You don't have to be all things to all readers.
Do one thing well. Write a great crime novel. Call it that.
Write a great frothy fun romance. Call it that.
Write amazing science fiction. Call it that (well, sans the amazing part, leave that adjective to your readers)
Write poems. (Don't send them to me of course but feel free to write as much as you like.)
In other words, when you're telling me where the book goes on the shelf, pick ONE.
You don't even have to be right.
You just have to be, well, monogamous.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Bookstore Tours!
Today was a lovely day to wake La Bicyclette from her winter hibernation, oil up the knee joints and set off on a bookstore tour!
My starting point was the newly formed New York Coalition for Independent Bookstores. This early in the biking season I knew I wasn't going far so I chose a couple stores that didn't involve hauling my sorry ass over a bridge (and back!)
I started at Melville House Publishers.
MHP Bookstore is a lovely space. If you stand at the cash register and turn around, the view is so vintage New York that had the Q train not chosen that moment to rattle overhead on the Manhattan Bridge, I could have sworn I was looking at New York 1899.
I almost didn't make it in to the store though. It was my first visit, I wasn't exactly sure where the place was. Once I got there, it looked closed. The lights were off; there was no one in the store. The only clue it might be open was the small sign hanging waist high on one of the doors. Since I'd just biked all the way down Flushing Ave, risking life limb and hatpin, I wanted to get off the bike anyway so I stopped.
It's a good thing I did; the store was open despite all evidence to the contrary.
After looking at a wonderful array of books, all from indie presses, I bought White Muslim By Brendan Bernhard. Like their store, this book (published by Melville House) is lovely to behold (book design kudos to David Konopka.)
Memo to MHP: turn on the lights! Put some signs on the railing!
By contrast, PS Bookshop two blocks up and one block over on Front Street was hopping! No question whether this place was open, I had to use the hatpin to get past all the shoppers lounging at the magazine racks. PS sells used books but they've clearly invested heavily in dustbusters and air cleaners! There wasn't a sign of musty old book smell or mildew despite the stacks and stacks of old and wonderful books. No books of Jane Kenyon poems, sadly. A bunch of Bill Vollman's works, but I was on my bike so no Vollman today. Then I found Damascus Gate by Robert Stone, a book I've been meaning to read. I snatched it up and slithered past another horde of shoppers to the cash register.
The interesting thing about this store is when I was planning this little trip yesterday I looked up the bookstores on the web. PS doesn't have a website. I assumed they'd closed (as is so often the case these days). Fortunately I called, just to double check. Yes indeed they are open, but their URL had been hijacked, so no website.
Memo to PS: C'mon guys, I'll give you the $20 to get a new domain name registered! This is not the right retail climate to be hard to find!
One of my ongoing rants about bookstores is that being hard to find, or making it complicated to buy books is one of the reasons customers go other places. The marketplace isn't run by "should" or "buy local." It's driven by giving customers what they want quickly and easily.
If I hadn't persevered in both cases, I wouldn't have gotten to the stores today. That's not usual customer behavior! I didn't spend more than $20 in either store, but you don't have to lose too many small sales to have a problem.
I don't claim to know much about running a retail business but turning on the lights, and having even a simple website with the hours of operation strike me as pretty basic.
C'mon Indies! We want you to succeed!
My starting point was the newly formed New York Coalition for Independent Bookstores. This early in the biking season I knew I wasn't going far so I chose a couple stores that didn't involve hauling my sorry ass over a bridge (and back!)
I started at Melville House Publishers.
MHP Bookstore is a lovely space. If you stand at the cash register and turn around, the view is so vintage New York that had the Q train not chosen that moment to rattle overhead on the Manhattan Bridge, I could have sworn I was looking at New York 1899.
I almost didn't make it in to the store though. It was my first visit, I wasn't exactly sure where the place was. Once I got there, it looked closed. The lights were off; there was no one in the store. The only clue it might be open was the small sign hanging waist high on one of the doors. Since I'd just biked all the way down Flushing Ave, risking life limb and hatpin, I wanted to get off the bike anyway so I stopped.
It's a good thing I did; the store was open despite all evidence to the contrary.
After looking at a wonderful array of books, all from indie presses, I bought White Muslim By Brendan Bernhard. Like their store, this book (published by Melville House) is lovely to behold (book design kudos to David Konopka.)
Memo to MHP: turn on the lights! Put some signs on the railing!
By contrast, PS Bookshop two blocks up and one block over on Front Street was hopping! No question whether this place was open, I had to use the hatpin to get past all the shoppers lounging at the magazine racks. PS sells used books but they've clearly invested heavily in dustbusters and air cleaners! There wasn't a sign of musty old book smell or mildew despite the stacks and stacks of old and wonderful books. No books of Jane Kenyon poems, sadly. A bunch of Bill Vollman's works, but I was on my bike so no Vollman today. Then I found Damascus Gate by Robert Stone, a book I've been meaning to read. I snatched it up and slithered past another horde of shoppers to the cash register.
The interesting thing about this store is when I was planning this little trip yesterday I looked up the bookstores on the web. PS doesn't have a website. I assumed they'd closed (as is so often the case these days). Fortunately I called, just to double check. Yes indeed they are open, but their URL had been hijacked, so no website.
Memo to PS: C'mon guys, I'll give you the $20 to get a new domain name registered! This is not the right retail climate to be hard to find!
One of my ongoing rants about bookstores is that being hard to find, or making it complicated to buy books is one of the reasons customers go other places. The marketplace isn't run by "should" or "buy local." It's driven by giving customers what they want quickly and easily.
If I hadn't persevered in both cases, I wouldn't have gotten to the stores today. That's not usual customer behavior! I didn't spend more than $20 in either store, but you don't have to lose too many small sales to have a problem.
I don't claim to know much about running a retail business but turning on the lights, and having even a simple website with the hours of operation strike me as pretty basic.
C'mon Indies! We want you to succeed!
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Crime novelist Barbara Parker has died
Does it seem like a lot of crime novelists are off to the Great Library in the Sky lately?
Barbara Parker, of whom I was and am a devoted fan, has joined that list.
Oline Cogdill has a more in the Sun-Sentinel
Barbara Parker, of whom I was and am a devoted fan, has joined that list.
Oline Cogdill has a more in the Sun-Sentinel
(via Sarah Weinman)
Pixie Warrior is pick of the month!
One of the greatest joys of this blog is getting to know some very amazing people.
I first "met" Rachael de Vienne when she began commenting on my blog. I think her name was "War Dancing Pixie" which was instantly memorable of course, but it was her writing voice that kept my attention. I loved to read her comments. She was hilarious and insightful, and really really interesting.
Then it turned out she had this amazing goat. Bill E. Goat began appearing in the comments section too. And stories about Bill E.
If one can be smitten with a goat, well I am smitten with Bill.
Then Rachael wrote Pixie Warrior, and it was published by an electronic book publisher. One of the reasons to finally buy a Kindle was so I could buy it and read it. I did, and I'm now a member of Rachael-the-novelist's fan club, not just Rachael-the-goat-keeper, and Rachael-the-hilarious-albeit-typo-ridden-commenter fan club.
Today, I'm tickled pink to post the news that Pixie Warrior is a pick of the month over at The-Plot-Thickens.com
Congratulations Rachael!
I first "met" Rachael de Vienne when she began commenting on my blog. I think her name was "War Dancing Pixie" which was instantly memorable of course, but it was her writing voice that kept my attention. I loved to read her comments. She was hilarious and insightful, and really really interesting.
Then it turned out she had this amazing goat. Bill E. Goat began appearing in the comments section too. And stories about Bill E.
If one can be smitten with a goat, well I am smitten with Bill.
Then Rachael wrote Pixie Warrior, and it was published by an electronic book publisher. One of the reasons to finally buy a Kindle was so I could buy it and read it. I did, and I'm now a member of Rachael-the-novelist's fan club, not just Rachael-the-goat-keeper, and Rachael-the-hilarious-albeit-typo-ridden-commenter fan club.
Today, I'm tickled pink to post the news that Pixie Warrior is a pick of the month over at The-Plot-Thickens.com
Congratulations Rachael!
Friday, March 06, 2009
Book comparisons
I'm not sure how log lines came to be a part of query letters but here they are so you might as well learn to do them right.
Authors love to say things like "its like Jaws, but in the woods!" or "it's like Speed, but on tricycles, and with preschoolers!"
In other words, it's like a movie, but different.
Well, of course, this is a book you're sending a query for, so the first thing to remember is:
1. compare your book to a book
Then, I've seen things like "It's just like that movie Home Alone, but this time the kid is alone cause the dad commits suicide".
Whoa! Hold your horses bucko.
Home Alone is a comic movie about a kid who gets left inadvertently and his parents move heaven and earth to get BACK to him. There's NO comparison to the tragedy of a parent committing suicide.
So the second rule:
2. make sure your comparison book matches the tone of your book.
In other words "Silence of the Lambs" except Hannibal Lecter is a really fun kindergarten teacher just doesn't work.
And the most egregious comparison error is to compare your work to something (usually one of my client's books) that you haven't read. Not only haven't read, but haven't even looked at the description on Amazon:
"my book is an homage to Jimi Hendrix like The Electric Church by Jeff Somers" doesn't work on any level.
So:
3. Know the book you're using as a comparison to yours
I think log lines are a waste of time mostly. They're very hard to do well. They're probably the very last thing you should write as you work on your query letter. That's because the hardest things to write are the sentences that have to sum up a book in just a few words.
Write the paragraph that tells me what the book is about first. Everything else is secondary.
Authors love to say things like "its like Jaws, but in the woods!" or "it's like Speed, but on tricycles, and with preschoolers!"
In other words, it's like a movie, but different.
Well, of course, this is a book you're sending a query for, so the first thing to remember is:
1. compare your book to a book
Then, I've seen things like "It's just like that movie Home Alone, but this time the kid is alone cause the dad commits suicide".
Whoa! Hold your horses bucko.
Home Alone is a comic movie about a kid who gets left inadvertently and his parents move heaven and earth to get BACK to him. There's NO comparison to the tragedy of a parent committing suicide.
So the second rule:
2. make sure your comparison book matches the tone of your book.
In other words "Silence of the Lambs" except Hannibal Lecter is a really fun kindergarten teacher just doesn't work.
And the most egregious comparison error is to compare your work to something (usually one of my client's books) that you haven't read. Not only haven't read, but haven't even looked at the description on Amazon:
"my book is an homage to Jimi Hendrix like The Electric Church by Jeff Somers" doesn't work on any level.
So:
3. Know the book you're using as a comparison to yours
I think log lines are a waste of time mostly. They're very hard to do well. They're probably the very last thing you should write as you work on your query letter. That's because the hardest things to write are the sentences that have to sum up a book in just a few words.
Write the paragraph that tells me what the book is about first. Everything else is secondary.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Smackdown in the halls of style!
It's always a good day when the Abbeville Manual of Style sends their seconds calling on the Chicago Manual of Style.
Today, it's graphs!
Today, it's graphs!
Non-Fiction queries: platform
Most of the ranting I've done here applies mostly to queries for novels.
The biggest reason I turn down interesting non-fiction queries is platform-lack thereof
If you want to write non-fiction (excluding memoir) you must have platform.
No exceptions.
You need to tell me this in your query letter.
No exceptions.
If your idea is anything less than 100% ohmygod, I must have that (and figure you're in that category just for safety sake) I won't write back and ask "what's your platform."
The reason is I don't want to get involved in a long drawn out discussion of what is/isn't platform and why this idea is so great you don't need one.
Experience taught me that the less likely I am to take or like the book, the longer the email exchange.
You can understand then why I don't even want to start.
Any questions?
The biggest reason I turn down interesting non-fiction queries is platform-lack thereof
If you want to write non-fiction (excluding memoir) you must have platform.
No exceptions.
You need to tell me this in your query letter.
No exceptions.
If your idea is anything less than 100% ohmygod, I must have that (and figure you're in that category just for safety sake) I won't write back and ask "what's your platform."
The reason is I don't want to get involved in a long drawn out discussion of what is/isn't platform and why this idea is so great you don't need one.
Experience taught me that the less likely I am to take or like the book, the longer the email exchange.
You can understand then why I don't even want to start.
Any questions?
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Things to skip in queries for fiction
I'm most interested in the project you're querying me about. I'm interested in what the book is about.
I am not interested in:
1. who edited it;
2. who read it before I did (not blurbs, not your teachers, particularly not other agents);
3. if it was in a contest or even did well in a contest unless it WON. This is the hardest part for authors to really believe, but it's true;
4. how long it took you to write;
5. what your job was or is unless it relates specifically to the book. (In other words, if you're writing science fiction you don't need to tell me you were an insurance adjuster before retiring to write full time);
6. how you found me. (Opinions vary on this subject) To me it seems rather obvious: you did find me. I want to read your query letter. Let's just chalk that up to the universe bringing us together and leave it at that;
7. Excuses or apologies of any kind including but not limited to
A. I know you're very busy and get a lot of query letters
B. I'm unpublished
8. Statements that you've followed the instructions. At this point, I know what I've asked for and I can tell if you've sent it.
Now, you can put all of that IN the query letter if you want. You can put anything in it you want in fact, but it will defeat the purpose of the letter.
I want to know about your book. You've got about 250 words to catch and hold my attention. Why would you waste it telling me ANYTHING I don't really need to know.
The only thing, let me emphasize the ONLY thing, I'm looking at is whether you can write well, and if I think this is a book I can sell. I don't care if you're a monkey from mars, and found me listed in the Agents Who Think They're All That and a Bag O'Chips list: write well, and tell me about a book I want to read.
I am not interested in:
1. who edited it;
2. who read it before I did (not blurbs, not your teachers, particularly not other agents);
3. if it was in a contest or even did well in a contest unless it WON. This is the hardest part for authors to really believe, but it's true;
4. how long it took you to write;
5. what your job was or is unless it relates specifically to the book. (In other words, if you're writing science fiction you don't need to tell me you were an insurance adjuster before retiring to write full time);
6. how you found me. (Opinions vary on this subject) To me it seems rather obvious: you did find me. I want to read your query letter. Let's just chalk that up to the universe bringing us together and leave it at that;
7. Excuses or apologies of any kind including but not limited to
A. I know you're very busy and get a lot of query letters
B. I'm unpublished
8. Statements that you've followed the instructions. At this point, I know what I've asked for and I can tell if you've sent it.
Now, you can put all of that IN the query letter if you want. You can put anything in it you want in fact, but it will defeat the purpose of the letter.
I want to know about your book. You've got about 250 words to catch and hold my attention. Why would you waste it telling me ANYTHING I don't really need to know.
The only thing, let me emphasize the ONLY thing, I'm looking at is whether you can write well, and if I think this is a book I can sell. I don't care if you're a monkey from mars, and found me listed in the Agents Who Think They're All That and a Bag O'Chips list: write well, and tell me about a book I want to read.
Query Letters
A lot of posts on this blog are about query letters (85 in the Query letter category, another chunk among the 32 in the rant category). If you read all of those one after another, you might get the idea I loath query letters.
Nothing could be farther from the truth.
I find my fabulous clients MOST OFTEN via query letter. I found Gary Corby there, I found Bill Cameron there, I found Patrick Lee there, I found Amy Minato, and Adam Eisenberg, and Richard Gilbert there. I found Jeff Somers there.
And those are the clients that queried me cold: no intro from anyone.
Many of my other fabulous clients also arrived via query, but with some sort of intro (Eric Stone from his editor for example; Evan Mandery from a colleague of mine; DawnRae Downton from Stephany Evans who said "this is a terrific idea, and you're just the one to sell it.")
A good query is exciting. A good query about a project that makes your heart beat faster is wonderful. I love those moments.
But, you need to remember the default answer on all query letters is no. I'm not looking for reasons to say no. I assume no.
I'm looking for reasons to say yes. That means I'm looking for voice; I'm looking for an idea that I think is fresh and new; I'm looking for a project I'm confident I can pitch and sell.
I don't go through your query letters and tic off all the "mistakes" you make. I don't go through your queries and think "ok, you spelled my name wrong, you're done." I don't go through my queries and think "Arial font, not TNR, you're toast."
The default answer is already no.
What I look for is language facility and dexterity; amazing voice; compelling story. You can write in GaramondSansSerif 2 if you want. You can spell my name "Barbara Poelle" if you want. If you write something I want to read, I will read it. I'm going to rant about it, you bet, but I'm going to read it.
So, you might ask, why all the ranting and carrying on about query letters and how to do them? Why say "write your query in TNR, not Garamond SanSerif 2" if it really doesn't matter?
The fewer barriers to seeing your work, the better. The fewer barriers to reading your pages, the more likely I'll read more. The means if you send it in easy to read TNR 12, with enough white space in an equery that I'm not looking at a block of text, the MORE likely I might see the phrase that leaps out at me from paragraph four. Or six.
The default answer is no. Getting your form right, getting the presentation right, getting the right kinds of information in a query letter and keeping the wrong kinds out, just helps me see your work, not get bogged down in 'oh man where does the good stuff start."
Because the default answer is no, I'm reading queries with the idea I will be rejecting most of them. Getting the form right, getting the presentation right, getting the right info in, and the wrong info out, that makes me pause in my blisteringly fast reading rate and pay more attention.
More attention is what you want. More attention = good.
I value your queries, and I'm glad to get them and read them.
I hope that comes across here.
If not, I guess I too need to work on showing, rather than telling!
Nothing could be farther from the truth.
I find my fabulous clients MOST OFTEN via query letter. I found Gary Corby there, I found Bill Cameron there, I found Patrick Lee there, I found Amy Minato, and Adam Eisenberg, and Richard Gilbert there. I found Jeff Somers there.
And those are the clients that queried me cold: no intro from anyone.
Many of my other fabulous clients also arrived via query, but with some sort of intro (Eric Stone from his editor for example; Evan Mandery from a colleague of mine; DawnRae Downton from Stephany Evans who said "this is a terrific idea, and you're just the one to sell it.")
A good query is exciting. A good query about a project that makes your heart beat faster is wonderful. I love those moments.
But, you need to remember the default answer on all query letters is no. I'm not looking for reasons to say no. I assume no.
I'm looking for reasons to say yes. That means I'm looking for voice; I'm looking for an idea that I think is fresh and new; I'm looking for a project I'm confident I can pitch and sell.
I don't go through your query letters and tic off all the "mistakes" you make. I don't go through your queries and think "ok, you spelled my name wrong, you're done." I don't go through my queries and think "Arial font, not TNR, you're toast."
The default answer is already no.
What I look for is language facility and dexterity; amazing voice; compelling story. You can write in GaramondSansSerif 2 if you want. You can spell my name "Barbara Poelle" if you want. If you write something I want to read, I will read it. I'm going to rant about it, you bet, but I'm going to read it.
So, you might ask, why all the ranting and carrying on about query letters and how to do them? Why say "write your query in TNR, not Garamond SanSerif 2" if it really doesn't matter?
The fewer barriers to seeing your work, the better. The fewer barriers to reading your pages, the more likely I'll read more. The means if you send it in easy to read TNR 12, with enough white space in an equery that I'm not looking at a block of text, the MORE likely I might see the phrase that leaps out at me from paragraph four. Or six.
The default answer is no. Getting your form right, getting the presentation right, getting the right kinds of information in a query letter and keeping the wrong kinds out, just helps me see your work, not get bogged down in 'oh man where does the good stuff start."
Because the default answer is no, I'm reading queries with the idea I will be rejecting most of them. Getting the form right, getting the presentation right, getting the right info in, and the wrong info out, that makes me pause in my blisteringly fast reading rate and pay more attention.
More attention is what you want. More attention = good.
I value your queries, and I'm glad to get them and read them.
I hope that comes across here.
If not, I guess I too need to work on showing, rather than telling!
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