Monday, November 16, 2009

Ah yes, the query letters...

Favorite Subject line of the decade: I Have Chosen You to be my Literary Agent.

37 comments:

The Daring Novelist said...

Well, you know, we're supposed to make the agent feel special, aren't we?

fred limberg said...

If wishes were horses then beggars would ride...

Aimee said...

I have chosen you to make me laugh at 7:07 pm eastern time.

DebraLSchubert said...

I bet you feel honored. Did he/she sign you? ;-)

Emilia Joyce Plater said...

LOL. That's a little bit like saying "I have chosen you to carry my child." Creepy!

L. T. Host said...

My response, if I were you:

"Me?!!? Little (young) me?!?"

*Delete*.

Lisa Dez said...

Well, I have. You got a problem with that?

Cat Moleski said...

Lucky you!

Ash. Elizabeth said...

Are people really that clueless? This saddens me a little, until I remember less competition when the time comes since people don't know how to research.

mwuahuahauh

Jay said...

Oh, wow. I should have thought of that!!!

Christa said...

Where do people come up with this stuff???

Too funny!

Jemi Fraser said...

Yikes! No ego troubles there :)

Paul Neuhardt said...

Sucking up, or an overabundance of confidence?

Or both?

Kristy said...

LOL, can we DO that?

justwritecat said...

Love the new tagline...

HeatherLee said...

Have you ever considered looking for potential new clients through online writing sites, particularly ones for cell phones? The reason I ask this is because I write on two sites: textnovel.com and mobamingle.com. I use my cell to compose each page online because I don't have a computer yet. I've completed one novel, I have over 100 fans following me on mobamingle, and 3000+ views. I'm just wondering if you, or any other agent, would ever take the time to browse work on there. I need to know if I'm wasting my time with it. I have the ability to submit a query letter because I have copy & paste, but I don't have the ability to attach any manuscripts if I ever made it past that first step. Get what I mean? Or am I just rambling? Lol...

Josin L. McQuein said...

And you may have already won a million dollars!!!

:-P

(Of course, now you have the title for your memoir, should you ever write one.)

Sharon Mayhew said...

I didn't know we were allowed to say that!

Janet, I've chosen you to be my agent. You'll really like me. :)

Belvoir said...

I love the line from "Garp" (movie, admittedly):

"He seems like a nice man. I think I'll let him publish my book".

(Paraphrase!)

Eva Gale said...

This is what happens when extreme introverts Try Too Hard.

therese said...

The psychic told me my agent would have the initials JR, so please contact me for an interview in case you're the one.

Furious D said...

That subject line just screams that the book will be pretentious drivel, doesn't it?

Gilbert J. Avila said...

Look into the spinning hypno-disc I got from Johnson, Smith & Co......

Anne-Marie said...

Email author: clueless.

Me: speechless. (Well, between giggles and head shaking, that is)

Lydia Sharp said...

I'm surprised it got through the spam filter.

Rick Daley said...

Well aren't you the lucky one...

S.D. said...

Probably just a misunderstanding...

LOL

The Rejectionist said...

We actually got that one too.

Lily Cate said...

I have chosen you to
-give me a job
-accept me into your university
-award me an Osacar
-help me get my lottery winnings from the Nigerian government.

Diana said...

LOL

Weelll, it did get your attention, the wrong kind of attention ...

s.w. vaughn said...

Don't you feel special, Janet? You are the Chosen One! Now, go find that amulet before the world explodes. :-)

BJ said...

Someone on Twitter had the same query, but she also tweeted the first line of the query:

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen


How many agents are we allowed to choose, anyway? Is this guy hogging them all?

Bill Mabe said...

Congratulations, Janet! You must be thrilled.

Wilhem Spihntingle said...

How about, "I want you to be my Binky Urban" :)

E. Ann Bardawill said...

Reply:

"What a coincidence! I've chosen YOU to clean my apartment, walk my dog and then dash out to the liquor store for me!

After that I would like a nice light dinner, homemade with all organic ingredients accompanied by a nice French Shiraz, then a deep tissue foot massage before you run my bath (Don't forget the add mare's milk so my skin stay silky soft).

While I am bathing, you can tidy up before you ask my permission to go home, which I will refuse. I mean... honestly! There's still the laundry to do.
Don't make me discipline you with the ping pong paddle again! Serf!"

There... that ought to take care of that.

Unless she's Anne Rice.

Kim Rossi Stagliano said...

Did the letter end with "bim salabim?" Sheesh! I have chosen Jon Hamm as my new pillow - alas, I have no powers and a husband.

Brad Jaeger said...

I laughed.