Saturday, July 18, 2009

"nice deal" "good deal"

If you're looking at the deal listings at Publishers Marketplace you'll see "good deal" "nice deal" "significant deal" over and over again.

The reason is that Publishers Marketplace codes deals within a dollar range as "good" "nice" "significant" etc. They set the categories, we just click which one best describes the deal we're posting.

Of course, I've tried to list some of my deals in other ways:

"last gasp deal"--exactly as much money as I could wring out of the editor without turning him upside down and shaking loose spare change from his pockets.

"bargain of the damn century deal"--not anywhere near as much money as this book is worth and going to earn, but damned if I could find anyone who was smart enough to see that

"in the interest of long term relationships deal" --a figure not as near to the book's value as I'd hoped I'd get but we'll get you the next time

"holy shit deal" --more money than I thought anyone in their right mind would offer, and I'm taking it so fast your head will spin, here's the signed contract personally delivered to the office, can I have the check please.

23 comments:

Stephen Parrish said...

The most common deal in the industry seems to be the "Take it or Leave it" deal.

Aimee K. Maher said...

I'm glad they do that. Who wants everyone to know what kind of paycheck they get anyway? Unless it's me. And it's stellar. With a movie package.

Ricky Bush said...

As long a severed horse head isn't part of the deal, all those sound decent. Anyway--

laughingwolf said...

lol... no 'aw shit' deal?

Laurel said...

Don't forget the "I'll pay you to print this book" deal. AKA self pub.

That might be a good name for a writer's bar. "The Self Pub" where the drinks are cheap and the symathy is free...

Chris Eldin said...

ahahahahah! One of your funniest posts.
:-)

Tim of Angle said...

More nuanced are John Scalzi's Real World Book Deal Descriptions (http://whatever.scalzi.com/2004/09/08/the-real-world-book-deal-descriptions/)

Dan Krause said...

Ricky,

I sense an affinity for The Godfather.

What should the publisher do? Leave the movie rights, but take the last gasp deal?

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Dear Agent,
I'm in the market for a shit deal, excuse me, a holy-shit deal. Pls send list of track record.
Writer

Thanks for the enlightenment and a good laugh on a really hot day.

ryan field said...

HA!

Mim said...

These deals made me smile. I think they fit the current market better!

CKHB said...

Wait, but doesn't a "holy shit deal" then put the writer at risk for the next deal, if the book doesn't earn out? There have been all these posts lately on the agent blogs about BookScan, etc., and it seems like a "holy shit deal" for one book could do real damage to a writer's career if the book doesn't live up to the imagined potential.

Haste yee back ;-) said...

Janet, always slide your hands under the couch chusions before you leave with the contract!

Mira said...

These are really funny. And, I bet, totally on target. Gives me a picture into the world of selling. Cool.

Liana Brooks said...

Sign me up for the last one! That sounds like a good deal to me.

rachelcapps said...

Your post is my best laugh out loud today! The lawyer-half of my brain loves the "contract personally delivered to the office deal" as much as my writer-half.

Vacuum Queen said...

OK, drinks and apps on my deck tonight. You'd be so much fun to BS with. Oh, I live in NW Washington. Might take you awhile to get here.

Dan Krause said...

How do you decide upon these labels for Publisher's Marketplace? Do you simply use your judgment about how a book is going to fair in the market?

passinglovenotes said...

The "Last Gasp Deal"? I think that's what the coroner's statement determined after Michael Jackson's autopsy. Since he cheated the Beatles out of their rights, just dealing with him left people gasping. Or something like that.

Holy shit. In the interest of long term relationships, I probably shouldn't have posted that comment. Gasp.

Angie Ledbetter said...

el.oh.el Hope I get one in the last category one day.

Shelli said...

where does the "ive died and gone to heaven" deal?

daybydaywriter said...

HA! Brilliant. May all your deals be great deals.

BuffySquirrel said...

*snarf*