"You come by your style by learning what to leave out. At first you tend to overwrite--embellishment instead of insight"--Billy Collins
I hope the booking officer's first words were, "So, breaking and entering?"
His hat is blue.He's just fashion stupid.
"Baaaaaahhhh, humbug"-Grandpa Goat
So since you claim crabbiness as an attribute, I thought you'd appreciate this answer in the FAQ on owlpages.com (I was doing research). I think if you have a FAQ, you should add it to yours too.Q: Hey, I e-mailed you months ago, and you never answered! What gives?A: 1) Yeah, I answered you, but your over-zealous spam filter rejected my answer. I even tried e-mailing you from a different e-mail account, and it was still rejected. You're probably missing half the e-mails people send you - get it fixed...2) You asked a question that was already answered on this page.
Janet isn't crabby. She's only selective. She choses not to associate with people who's IQ's match their dress size, shoe size, or belt size.Now, take me ... She's always nice to me (except for that unfortunate incident in the elevator). I'm short, really short, and the goat I'm with is shorter. But my IQ is at least twice the size of my 2 and a half shoes.You know ... come to think of it ... she was mean to me that night all of us Merovingian Conspirators meet in Boston. So, I forgot that the password was "Red Hair." This was a sin?And ... she was cranky as heck over the stain Bill E. Goat left on her carpet. But that wasn't my fault.And I did WARN her not to sample Haggis. I did. It's not my fault she didn't know what's in it.And ... dast I tell this one. (I'm ignoring that 'you dasen't.') She spilled her noodles on a certain well known Editor. I was unfairly blamed. That high-pitched scream WAS necessary!Also, I was NOT responsible for her first gold fish's demise, and I OFFERED to call in a world famous Belgian detective. I can't help it if he's fictional!Janet isn't cranky ... much.
A few years ago, while working in retail management to support my writing dreams, I wore a full Santa suit for a few hours to perk up our business. During that time, we busted a female shoplifter who got rather belligerent during her apprehension. After we had her pinned to the ground, I noticed a little boy standing nearby, his jaw hanging to the new Nike's he was trying on. I smiled at him, in full Santa mode, and told him, "She's been naughty."I bet that boy is still behaving today.
Ah, a picture may speak a thousand words but it may take two to say it all!!
CL is right, I think that a blue Santa hat is an arrestable offence. Watch what you say about haggis, Sha'el. Four and a half million Scots can't be wrong!
I think the actual number of Scots that eat that cr ... umm stuff ... numbers under 1000. okay ... well maybe under 20,000.
Sacrilege! We learn to love it at our mother's knee! A Scot that doesn't like haggis must be booted over the border instantly to That Southern Land We Don't Mention in Polite Company.
McKoala,You do realize that Haggis is the reason Scotland lost to Edward III. .... Everyone was sick from eating it!I'm pretty sure Robert Burns only pretended to eat it. ...And you know our ancestors didn't really paint themselves blue ... It was totally an effect of Haggis eating.The Battle of Culloden was lost because Jacobites ate haggis and were suffering the effects of ill chosen diet.The most you can say for haggis is that someone (probably an Englishman or Irishman) found something really inventive to do with a sheep's stomach and convinced Scots to actually eat it. ("It's good for you! Packed with vitamins! It'll allow you to plunder the English with impunity.")
I'm booting you over the border.
ya ya ya ... but you love me anyway!
Make nice and I'll attach elastic to my boot.
Pixies are almost always nice. We just don't eat haggis.
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